23: Louie Valotti on Self-Inquiry, Trauma, and the Authentic Self

Genesis Holistic Medicine
Gabor Mate
Alberto Villoldo
Q’ero
Tibetan Buddhism
Stephen Porges
Stan Grof
Richard Schwartz
Carl Jung
Eckhart Tolle
Hopi
Pachacuti
Mayan Calendar
Age of Aquarius
Kaliyuga
The Body Keeps The Score

Louie: [00:00:00] Pachamama. To the winds of the south, great serpent, come. Come and wrap your beautiful coils of light around us. Teach us how to shed the past like you shed your skin. Show us the softness and teach us about the beauty way. Aho, such a mama. Phew. To the winds of the west, humpway humpway, otto rungo, great mother sister jaguar, come.

[00:01:00] Come and protect our medicine space. Take us into the unknown, teach us how to trek, guide us into the unconscious, beyond our shadows and beyond our fears of death, and teach us how to be impeccable like the luminous warriors. Aho! To the winds of the north, humpway, humpway, kenti, royal hummingbird, grandmothers and grandfathers, ancient ones, calling in the lineage of ancient medicine.

Men and women to come and gather around us to share the infinite wisdom of our past, of our heritage, honoring all of those who came before us, our mothers and fathers, grandmas and grandfathers, and all of those who will come after us, our children’s children, our whole ho whew. To the winds of the East Hump, hump, Aine, great Eagle.

Come to us from the place of the [00:02:00] rising sun. Take us under your wings and fly us high up to the absolute highest mountains that we can only dare to dream of. Teach us how to fly wing to wing with the Great Spirit. Aho! Santa Madre Tierra. Humpway, humpway, Pachamama. Dear Mother Earth, We come here in healing to all our relationships.

To the stone people, the plant people, The two legged, the four legged, the creepy crawlers, the winged, the furred, and the finned. Aho! Pachamama! And to the star nations, Grandfather Sun, Grandmother Moon, to all the stars, to all the galaxies in our universe, and to all the universes in this existence, calling in to the Infinite One, You who is known by a thousand names and you who are the unnameable.[00:03:00] 

Thank you for allowing us to sing this song of life for one more day. Aho.

Giancarlo: very much. Louis Vallotti, everybody. Before I read your biography again, give us a little bit of context on what just happened here. 

Louie: Thank you Giancarlo, so nice to be here again. So what just happened was an invocation. I share an ancient prayer that comes from the Gero of the Andes. An old shamanic prayer, a mantra, to create a sacred space.

A sacred space held by the four cardinal corners, by the medicine wheel. By the archetypes of the serpent, the jaguar, the hummingbird, and the eagle, and the earth, and the universe. [00:04:00] It is to allow us to sit in a space that takes us outside of the linear time and into the present moment and in contact with these natural forces of evolution, these natural forces of nature.

Giancarlo: Amazing. Thank you very much. Appreciate it. So for people that missed the first episode, I will quickly read your biography again. Louis Vallotte is a shaman, spiritual guide and visionary. He co created Genesis Holistic Medicine. He’s a student of Dr. Gabor Mate and Dr. Alberto Villoldo, initiated into the Quero lineage of Andean shamanism, as you just heard.

He offers a sacred space where you can explore the multi dimensional layers and evolution of your being. So, Um, for people that did not listen his first episode, I will recommend they do so because there is, there will be a certain chronology. We’re going to do a total of four episode with the Louis. I [00:05:00] mean, maybe more, who knows, but definitely we’re going to start with four episode because um, as you can hear in the first episode, he’s, um, develop a system around three principles um, that he, he presented in the first episode.

And now in episode two, three and four will be dedicated specific to this, uh, principles. I will let him explain what we’re going to talk about today. Um, and if you can, we, um, I always try to be a little bit structured. So, um, maybe you can explain, you know, what we’re going to talk about today. And, and, and, and make that distinction.

We talked about. You know, the part of modern psychotherapy and the part about spiritual existentialism. 

Louie: Okay. So, today the intention is to speak about the second principle of Genesis. [00:06:00] This core principle we call self inquiry. Self inquiry from the work and the teachings that we offer to you. comes with the intention of building a bridge between modern psychotherapeutic approaches, modern psychotherapy, and spiritual existential teachings that come from cosmology and lore from Tibetan Buddhism and the Kero lineage of shamanism.

So our intention is to create a dynamic dynamic in the sense that we are combining modern therapeutic approaches together with existential teachings to create a formula for finding ourselves, for connecting to our true self, for connecting to our truth [00:07:00] on all levels individual transgenerational and existential 

Giancarlo: You want to get into the details.

Louie: So, let’s, let’s, let’s pack this up a little bit. So, you know, modern psychology has evolved for the best of, I would say, a hundred, a hundred and fifty years. But, It has sidetracked at some point, and we’ve lost the core source of finding our true selves, of finding our being. And unfortunately, Western psychology has moved into becoming more diagnostic, um, has become an arm of traditional allopathic medicine, meaning that we’re not looking to heal, we’re looking to soothe, we’re looking to eliminate, uh, symptoms rather than understanding them.

However, the [00:08:00] last, you could say the last 30, 40 years, but really the last 10, 15 years, we have the renaissance of a few psychotherapeutic systems that really work together in the dynamic. These would be, as examples, uh, the CI, the Compassionate Inquiry Method or approach by Gabor Maté. Thank you. Polyvagal theory by Stephen Porges, transpersonal psychology by Stan Gruff, and internal family systems by Richard Swartz.

These systems share so much in common, and they are more related to the spiritual teachings, but they translate all that language into an understandable format for people. the Western mind. So we work with, with these principles, we work with these [00:09:00] teachings, but also we bridge it over to the spiritual existential context.

This is where cosmology from Tibetan Buddhism and the Quero lineage comes in, because The former systems I just mentioned, they will take us through the individual process, they will also take us through the transgenerational process, and the spiritual teachings brings us beyond, they brings us into the existential journey of the soul, the ideas around karma, the ideas around the true origins and purpose of this whole journey.

So it expands from just this lifetime to becoming a lesson of life, a purpose of life, a journey of evolution of a soul. So we bring all that together in our principle of self inquiry. 

Giancarlo: Amazing. Should we go one by one, or where do you want to go? I’m going to let you drive this today. [00:10:00] 

Louie: Thank you, uh, Giancarlo, for that trust.

It’s interesting going into one, one on one. Self inquiry has become a dynamic, progressive model with interpretations and teachings from all these different systems. So I feel called to share a little bit more about self inquiry. What is self inquiry about? In the world, we have self, and we have inquiry.

So we’re inquiry, we’re going into an inquiry about the self, the self with a capital S. The question is, who are we? Now our approach is based on the idea that there is a true self. The idea that there is a truth about who we are.

And through these systems, We learn that the [00:11:00] suffering that we see in the world, the suffering that we are ourselves on an individually suffering from, this comes from the unconscious identification of ourself. So we suffer because we are separated from our truth, And we are identifying with a belief or with a story about who we are.

So self inquiry is about challenging the unconscious material that we are holding. It is about traveling deeply through this unconscious material to attain realizations about who we really are. You can say we work through a process of shadow work. We become in deep contact with these [00:12:00] unconscious parts, so that they can open up and express themselves.

And in the expression of this unconscious material, we come to a realization of truth about ourselves. This is a journey. It’s a journey of inner work. It’s a journey of healing. It’s a journey of becoming whole. or individualized like Carl Jung called it. It’s a journey of finding these unconscious parts, making them conscious and integrating them back into the self.

So we become sovereign, whole, and intuitively present beings. Now, I’ll share a little bit of theory. This would be the basis of internally, internal family systems, but also it’s in the core of [00:13:00] the Jungian teachings and also our shamanic teachings from the Kueros. These teachings, they come from a foundation that there is a self, that there is a part of us, a core part of us that never changes.

that cannot be damaged, it cannot be hurt. It is a core part of us that we define as a center, a center inside. And that center is created from the present focus and awareness of our attention. It is our present awareness Now this center, this core part of us, this, this center of awareness, this center of, of presence, that is in these teachings who we truly are.

That is our connection to the present, to all the people around us, to [00:14:00] the planet and, and ultimately the universe and what some call God. As a part of human life, as a part of being born in the body with karma, We are destined to go through an evolution of our soul where this center becomes depressed or suppressed based on the traumatic experiences we, we explore that we have in this life.

And when we go through those traumas, or I call them karmas, What happens is that we develop additional parts to who we are. These can be seen as sub personalities. These can be seen as parts of ourselves that on a soul level and an ancestral level are [00:15:00] unhealed. So, from the existential point of view, point of view, we come into this life to take on these lessons, to take on this karma that are manifested through trauma and that create these unconscious parts that we develop an identification to, that we think we are unconsciously.

And self inquiry is about healing these parts, about bringing them back into the center so we become this all abiding, empathetic, loving presence. That is our core that is our ultimate being.

Giancarlo: Amazing. Amazing. Um, okay. Just to maybe unpack a little bit, the concept of ghosts of shadows. 

Sorry. 

Giancarlo: Because that’s the, that’s the [00:16:00] critical. 

Louie: Yeah. So a ghost or a shadow, we can call them those things. We can call them also a part, an unconscious part. 

Giancarlo: Unconscious part? An unconscious part. Or, or, or, or, um, what’s the term that Eckhart Tolle used?

Pain bodies? 

Louie: Pain bodies. So pain bodies is, uh, is another interpretation. Let’s, let’s, let’s go with, with shadow or unconscious parts. And what we’re looking at here is

At some point in your life, when I say your, I’m speaking to all of us because this is both individual and a collective journey. So at some point in your journey, you would have experienced what we define, what I define as a trauma. Now, a trauma, In this sense, it’s [00:17:00] defined as anything that has caused a disconnection to the self, a disconnection to your center, to your truth.

And through that disconnection, there has been a constriction inside, a constriction or restriction to who you are authentically. Towards who you have been forced to adapt to. Mm-Hmm. to something that has had to happen, something internally that you’ve had to do to survive. But in that adaptation you’ve had to suppress your authenticity, your truth, and allow an unconscious belief to take over.

your identification of yourself. [00:18:00] And that unconscious belief, together with the pain that has been suppressed, that becomes a shadow. That becomes an unconscious being inside you, a part inside you that reacts, that defends itself in different ways. that whispers these unconscious thoughts in your ear and that sometimes trigger and cause suffering in your life for you and potentially those around 

Giancarlo: you.

So we discussed that we can take me as an example. So in my case, my shadow, um, um, was created, uh, as you say, because of a loss of authenticity. And I would say in my case, um, I lost my authenticity, I would say in [00:19:00] teenager year or even in puberty when, when I had the first understanding of, of, of sexual desire, I was, um, you know, my, my father’s love was pretty much conditional to my, um, Um, sexual conquest, maybe not so young.

Maybe it was a little bit, maybe that kind of pressure came later, but I was looking at him. I was looking at his life and, uh, he was a playboy ambassador. So I, and, and it was, you know, it was never really interested to be a father. So I felt that for me, in order to get his attention, to get his, to get the attachment back.

Well, not even back because I don’t think I ever, ever had it, but I, I, I start, you know, I, I organized my identity to be [00:20:00] also a high status womanizer. And that was, that has becoming my driving force for, I mean, many, many years. So that would be my ghost, that would be my shadow, 

Louie: right? Okay, so I want to start with honoring the vulnerability that you’re showing by sharing this and the space that’s created here.

And I would like our audience to be aware that this is something that we have agreed on in terms of a consent. And although we’re live, we are in a very personal setting. So thank you for that. So, is it okay if I reflect back to you here? So, I heard you say that your shadow was created in relationship to your father.

Your father was an ambassador of Playboy. I heard you say he never really wanted [00:21:00] to be a father. And I heard you say that you You call it attachment, but maybe it was more your need to be seen and loved by him, accepted by him, and your shadow was created in a way that you unconsciously pursued a womanizing archetype to seek his approval, to seek his, his value, his worth.

Correct. Mm 

Louie: hmm. So, are you okay with going deeper into this? Let’s do it. Okay.

So you said you never really wanted to be a father.

That can be very difficult for a child to experience. Not wanting to be a father can translate itself into not wanting being present, not [00:22:00] wanting to see the other. 

Giancarlo: Not wanting the responsibility. 

Louie: Not wanting the responsibility. Not wanting to give the time away from his interest. So the journey starts here with the experience of a child experiencing this.

Because what, you said teenagers, but what about The relationship to the father, the development of our, what we call the solar plexus chakra, the development of this who am I on an individual level, it starts in very, very early puberty. So we, we, we detach from the mother around eight, nine, 10 years old, and we move into the father where we’re looking to be seen and acknowledged.

Now, if that is not there, if there’s not a safe connection to the father. A connection that sees us and accepts us. I don’t know if this is the case with you because we haven’t gone into it, but theoretically what [00:23:00] happens is that the true authentic self of the boy, if it’s not accepted in the eyes of the father, it may find a way to suppress itself.

This often happens based on traumatic experiences. The father will react or respond to the child in a certain way that creates a feeling of either abandonment or rejection in the child, in the identity, the authenticity of the child. So the child, it’s looking for that attachment, that connection, so it can suppress, depress who it really is.

and hide that, because that’s not good enough, that’s not safe, and then it can take on a mechanism that it thinks is valuable in the eyes of the Father to keep that acknowledgement, to receive that love.[00:24:00] 

So, I ask you first, is this in resonance? Yes, 

Giancarlo: yes, and even, even, even more, um, You know, when, when I did some, some work in a, in a rehabilitation clinic where they put on the floor several words, there was like, you know, abuse, abandonment, uh, disempowerment. And I realized that, you know, in, in puberty. The disempowered came from not even allow me the possibility to decide where it was.

So it’s not that my true self was suppressed, is that it was never even find. I mean, you don’t know who you are at eight, nine, 10, you’re just beginning. You know, I see my son who’s 10 comparing himself to other personality and, and so in that process. I was, I had this figure of constant, you know, woman [00:25:00] novelty, always different girls in on holiday and, and, and, and because he had even felt the emotional support, I thought that, you know, the more I become like him.

the more love I can get. That’s the aspect of the girls. And then he was this diplomat working at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. So I would see him always, you know, treated like royalty, right? Arriving in the country with Malaysia, with the king, or, you know, he was representing Italy. And, and, and so that immediately installing me this Desired of being a high status person and, and, you know, so I’m 10, 12 and I’ve been imposed to be a high status womanizer rather than be an, I don’t know, monogamous artist.

Maybe maybe I, uh, yeah, I was, I was disempowered like that. 

Louie: So I hear you saying Giancarlo that [00:26:00] there’s a feeling that rather than your authenticity being repressed or suppressed, it was never found in the first place. So are you okay if we go a bit deeper into that? So one of the teachings of self inquiry is what we call the emotional memories.

So let’s, let’s pretend we have a young boy, he’s Eight, nine years old. He doesn’t really know who he is yet, but he has some aspirations. He has some sparks of an identity that he’s wanting to show themselves. So what I’m guided to share with you here is, with the question is, from the age of nine up to twelve, were there any memories?

Where you felt that that [00:27:00] spark, that innocence, that beginning of the self was in any way rejected, denied, or, or, or even more difficult, ridiculed or shamed. 

Giancarlo: Yeah, I mean, the first interesting thing is that I lost all my memories of the first 11, 12 years of my life. And I’ve done a lot of work. with psychedelic medicine to try to recover some of the memories.

But, you know, I was, I was born in, in Rome, but then I went to Indonesia. So it was 04 Indonesia, 48 Brussels, 812 Athens. I don’t remember anything. And, um, so I’ll let you interpret that and, and The other thing about, you know, the, yeah, I mean, I remember I was 13, 14, that was the time of, you know, we were in Rome and, um, and yeah, there was a constant [00:28:00] questioning about, you know, do you have a girlfriend, do you have two girlfriend, why you don’t have a girlfriend?

So there was a constant, you know, maybe not some ridicule, it wasn’t horrendous, it wasn’t constant things. But I, I remember feeling it. I remember we were at the tennis club in Rome at the changing room and in front of everybody he asked me if I had a girlfriend and then I said, not a fixed one or something.

And I remember him saying, not even a non fixed one. I mean, he made fun of me in front of everybody. And that came out on a, on a, on a psycho drama. Um, session in, uh, in, in, uh, in the Deepak Rehabilitation Center in Canada. That was, uh, one of the event that really made me understand to what extent I was this empowered in, in being 14 years old, interested in, I don’t know, insect or astronomy.

Louie: Thank you for sharing this. Before we, we look at the memory. loss [00:29:00] and what happened here at the age of 13. It’s okay if I ask you, how do you feel in your body? How do you feel right now when you share this? 

Giancarlo: So, so we did a little bit of this before the recording, right? So I feel that it’s a little bit less raw, but, but I feel it, I feel it in my solar plexus, you know, I have a, have a sense of contraction of, of, um, of, yeah, of pain of, um, Uneasiness in my solar plexus, just where the ribs meet, just underneath the ribs, uh, connection.

Louie: Would you be okay if we take a few breaths and just come back into the body and just connect with that as we continue? So, just allow yourself to connect to your breathing, just be aware of the breathing coming into your body.[00:30:00] 

And as you breathe in now, become aware of the seat, the support that you’re sitting on.

And with these sensations in your solar plexus, just gently breathe into it, just give it space.

Just allowing it to be there and acknowledging that it’s there. And holding space for it.

Is there any emotion connected there to that sensation that you can pinpoint? 

Jingle: I, you 

Giancarlo: know, I, I feel, I feel, um, I feel supported, you know, I feel heard. 

Louie: Are there any emotions, feelings in the body?[00:31:00] 

Giancarlo: I mean, I’ve done a lot of work on that in, in forgive, in forgiving him. But, you know, there’s always a little bit of borderline of, um, of resentment. 

Louie: Okay. Thank you for sharing that sort of sentiment. This, this would be, could we call that a variation of anger? 

Mm 

Louie: hmm. Okay. So, will you be okay if we go deeper and I reflect on what we just talked about?

Yes, yes, yes. You don’t have to ask me anymore. You don’t have to ask me. 

Giancarlo: Permission. I know it’s important. 

Louie: Yeah. Okay. So thank you for that. So, so, so I heard you say that your memory, you lost most of your memory all the way up from very early childhood, up to the age of 10, 11 years old. Now, what What I can share about that is that our memory center, so what we call the limbic part of the brain, and more [00:32:00] particularly the hippocampus area of the brain, this is where we store memory, this is where we have the ability to learn experiences, this is where emotional coding happens.

to our memories. Now, our body neurologically is, it’s rigged for survival at a very early stage. And our physiology, the body, it is going to adapt to survival at any cost. This means in particular, if there is too much emotion, unprocessed emotion, repressed, depressed emotion. The brain can create a circuitry that disconnects.

And part of that disconnection also takes away the memory. So there’s so much work done with plant based medicines, with these powerful technologies, to be able to recover [00:33:00] trauma. That is depressed or repressed in the body, uh, allowing us to come into these realizations. And there are also natural processes through diet and through inquiry, like you did yourself, that allows this to reappear.

So, how about we go into that emotional memory. You mentioned, I heard you say you were 13 years old, and your father was, in your experience, he was always depressed. questioning this relationship to women. Did you have a girlfriend? Uh, why didn’t you have a girlfriend? And why don’t you have more than one?

Why don’t you have more than one girlfriend? And you mentioned a memory in the locker room. I think you said in the tennis court in the locker room where he questioned the relationship. You, asking if you had a girlfriend and you said on the regular one, and he made fun of you [00:34:00] in that moment. Were there other people present around?

Okay. So, uh, I, I want to tie this in for our listeners to what is an emotional memory. So any memory that is less than ideal that sticks out in your, in your memory, in your recollection is most likely an emotional traumatic memory. Okay. It’s coming out because your body also has a natural healing system where it wants to bring to surface the unconscious material and the unconscious material comes to surface in the form of emotion and images.

In our last podcast, we talked about the four levels of perception and we talked about the level of the soul, which she’s in images and in emotions. And that level of the soul can in in in our western psychology be called the level of the unconscious. So Giancarlo what you’re sharing is potentially an [00:35:00] unconscious memory that is coded significantly, meaning it’s a clue, it’s a sign that you’re being shown.

And let’s move into that memory to see what is there. So here you have a boy, And I invite all the listeners to imagine a 13 year old boy. If you know anyone, that’s great. Or just imagine a 13 year old boy being in a locker room. This is where we are nude. This is where we are naked physically, with most likely elder men, since it’s a tennis club and your father is there, most likely elder, more authority around us.

So we’re in a very vulnerable space. Our father is the protector. He keeps us safe. We look up to him and we’re supposed to be able to be vulnerable in a space where we are actually physically naked. Now, this is from the [00:36:00] eyes of a 13 year old being questioned. By the role model, by the, the person that we are trying to live up to, the person that we are, we are, we need for safety and vulnerability.

Your father questioned you in front of someone else. Regarding something very personal, because you saw him as an ambassador of playboy, meaning women were valuable. 

Giancarlo: Yeah, yeah. But just to clarify, it was, it was a playboy, you know, it was a womanizer. But then it was, An Italian ambassador, he was representing Italy abroad.

So it wasn’t really, you know, 

Louis: so he wasn’t the physical ambassador of Playboy, but it was an ambassador, a person of authority 

Giancarlo: and a womanizer. Hence 

Louis: the Playboy ambassador, which more or less is the same, just more, more precisely explained. But, but, but the, but the, the, the, the point here is 

Louie: that [00:37:00] he. is questioning you and indirectly your value.

Yeah, my masculinity. Your masculinity based on his beliefs. And it’s doing this in a naked environment in front of other authorities. I 

Giancarlo: never thought about that. 

Louie: So, so when he then makes a joke that in his eyes might have been innocent, for a 13 year old boy being naked in that space, it directly challenges the self worth.

And it’s, it’s, since it’s done in that environment with other people there, not only does it challenge the self worth, there is the potential of an element of shame coming in. Shame that, for one, what we are, so, we are not yet a womanizer. We don’t yet have multiple [00:38:00] relationships. From where we are. That is directly challenged and not worthy, not good enough.

So we have to, if we want to stay connected, we have to choose. Is that either worthy or is the image of my father most valuable, attachment or our authenticity? And in that environment where you’re naked, where there’s lots of people around, maybe someone laughs, maybe they were laughter. It’s very easy to just.

Swallow and depress that. Who am I? That’s, that’s not really important here. Obviously, that that’s ridiculed. And then the shame, which is kind of a protection mechanism comes over to say, I cannot, it’s not safe for me to even mention that I don’t have a girlfriend. I need to hide that. And I need to figure out how I can get as many as possible.

Yeah. How does that resonate? 

Giancarlo: Yeah, that’s totally accurate. And, and as you said, you know, I would love the, for the listener [00:39:00] to, to, to, you know, take this sharing as a, you know, as, as an example and, and try to translate this episode in their own life. Right. You know, we’re not here, you know, I’m sharing this because I hope it’s useful and it’s a quite common dynamic that, you know.

not only some kids don’t get the support and the emotional support needed, but sometimes get the lack of it. And also the, you know, being ridiculed. And I think this is a very common situation in our culture. 

Louie: Yeah. Yeah. These are many layers of how we can see trauma, disconnection. and the development of these shadows.

On an individual level, it’s based in trauma of the experiences that we have that are painful, that we want to [00:40:00] survive from, so we hide them. At a certain point in age, in childhood, it is the only coping mechanism that is there available to us, so we suppress and hide them. But in doing that, we create these shadows.

shadows, these archetypes of unconscious reality. And when we grow up 30, 20, 30 years later, these unconscious dynamics start playing out in our reality, in our relationships, and they cause even more suffering 

Giancarlo: in which way creating, um, um, Insecurity and, and, and projected and taking things personally. And Anger, jealousy, resentment.

Louie: Okay, so we’re moving into more of a complex but very important part of this talk. So is it okay if we continue using your story as an [00:41:00] example? Yes. Okay. Okay. So, Let’s, let’s, um, inquire, a 13 year old boy here is in a vulnerable situation. He suppresses, depresses his authenticity, his true self, and he creates a mechanism there to feel valued and good enough.

Now, in that process, in that adaptation, there may be And I will ask you the question, there may be a resent or an anger created towards the father, towards the perpetrator. Would you resonate in that? 

Yeah. 

Louie: Okay. Now, I would like to come back to that anger because there is, there is something underneath the anger that is, that is really the, the core and that is the pain, that is the hurt, that is the sadness of the experience.[00:42:00] 

But that sadness has not been held. properly in this moment. So the resentment comes over there again as another protection mechanism. But to bring it into the inquiry, so, I’ll ask you very directly, have you, Giancarlo, ever experienced an unconscious resent or anger towards a male authority figure? 

Giancarlo: All the time, all the time, I have, I could say I have an authority problem for sure.

Louie: And just, just allow the, the intuition to answer this next question. Is that related to this relationship to your father and what happened there? 

Giancarlo: Yeah. I mean, I haven’t really thought about it, but, um, Um, but I feel that, you know, if you have a loving authority figure, you develop, um, an appreciation for that kind of direction, [00:43:00] even I feel that when, you know, having not had that kind of, um, you know, authority, if well done, it’s a support system, which I feel I never had.

So for me, people. Especially man, tell me what to do, has always been a big problem with being. So definitely it’s linked to that. 

Louie: Okay. So when we’re looking at these shadows and you asked, okay, how does this, how does this relate to, to reactions and triggers and projections 20, 30 years later? So in this situation, there is an authority that challenges our authenticity, ridicules it.

And if we then look at present time with authority, and what I think I just heard you say, is that every time an authority challenges your authenticity, [00:44:00] challenges your belief, it’s a trigger for that anger, that old pain to come out. Are we in resonance here? Mm hmm. Okay, we are in a deep, very beautiful, but in intense sharing, I really appreciate the eye of the storm.

So so where can we go from here? There are there are many, many ways to unravel unpack this. I think it’s 

Giancarlo: I mean, I can I can share where I felt this sabotage my life. No, I felt for. I don’t know, 10, 15 years, you know, this armor that you described, this egoic armor that I created to deal with the pain has constricted my heart with, so I wasn’t able to commit with any woman until [00:45:00] the age of, I don’t know, I got married in 2015, which, you know, I’m was born in 68.

So how is that? 47 years old. So, yeah, that has created a lot of pain for me and others. This inability to surrender and open my heart and feeling vulnerable with a woman. I was engaged and then someone streamed a girlfriend that I couldn’t really commit to. 

Okay. Are 

Louie: you okay with going deeper here? Yes.

So, I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m, I was guided, I saw something that happened now and I’m curious about it. So, I heard you say that you were not able to establish an intimate, safe connection with a woman in the form of a conversation. Let’s say monogamous relationship until 2015. 

Giancarlo: I mean, 2015 we got married, you know, we started, we committed and started doing the work together in [00:46:00] 2007.

Okay. 

Louie: So what I noticed there, just when you said 2015, you laughed.

But from where I’m sitting, what you shared sounded like it was a sad. realization, a sad acknowledgement, but you still laughed. Can you take a moment just to feel into that laughter that came there?

How does that feel when I mention that? Can you feel in the body? 

Giancarlo: Yeah, yeah, we discussed that. I think sometimes the humor is a coping mechanism. To avoid the pain. What pain? The pain of, of feeling a little bit inadequate, of, of not being able to commit, until your forties, late forties. 

Louie: Pardon me for being very direct, [00:47:00] but inadequacy is not a feeling.

What are you really feeling underneath all of that? Unworthy. What is the opposite of 

Giancarlo: laughter? Seriousness. Um, heaviness.

Louie: Just feel now what’s coming up. 

Giancarlo: I feel uncomfortable. 

Louie: It’s okay. You don’t have to go any further than what you feel. No, no, no, 

Giancarlo: I like, I like, I like the So allow that uncomfort to When there is, it’s, it’s, um, it’s growing material when it is uncomfortable, right? So allow that to be, this comfort to be 

Louie: there, cause

Just breathe into it.

Please share what’s arising now inside you.[00:48:00] 

Giancarlo: Yeah, I feel, I feel, um, I feel like, I feel cornered. I feel vulnerable. I feel fragile. I feel, um, yeah, unease.

Louie: Let’s just take a few breaths here. This is really when we start inquiring. We start coming into the deeper realms. I can sense, I share what I feel in my body right now. I’m starting to feel a deep sadness.

A deep sadness that is just showing itself. Can you feel it? It’s okay. And I appreciate the setting, [00:49:00] but your vulnerability here is

This is where you can go with self inquiry. It’s coming to the core of that sadness. What, if anything, what would you like to share about that sadness? What is it telling you?

Giancarlo: Sometimes I feel, um,

like some sort of missed opportunity. All this year of, um, unawareness and addiction and inflicting pain on myself and others. There’s just a lot of, um, of sadness because it could have been avoided. And, and, and now I don’t want to be all [00:50:00] heavy now in public, but you know, like the, you know, I say that they say that, you know, you forgive the perpetrator, but it’s harder to forgive the enabler.

And I feel that the enabler was my mother. And I feel that, um, you know, she was not 13 when that was happening. You know, she was a mature woman and, Um, I feel that, um, I mean, she did end up leaving my father and she did end up married a professor, doctor, intellectual, and, and, and she tried to, you know, showing me another way to be a man, but, but on those years, the subtle abuse was not a secret for anybody.

And I just. in a way, resent the fact that she didn’t help.

And today I forgave my father, but I still [00:51:00] have a trigger with my mother. Okay. I don’t know if this is coming too boring for our listeners. I 

Louie: don’t think so. I think, I think it’s a chance that your vulnerability, which is so valuable that you are underestimating it. But, Can I unpack some of what you shared?

So you, you, you, I heard you share that, the fact that this has happened for so long, and all the work you’ve done, and that you’re in this space right now, that you wish somehow that this could have been avoided. And it goes more to the abider, the, the, the, the, your mom that didn’t protect you. Enabler, yeah.

Enabler. Through this experience, I didn’t protect you, no. This is where, this is where we go from the traditional or modern psychotherapeutic approaches I mentioned earlier, and we have to build a bridge over to the [00:52:00] cosmology and the existential teachings, because karma, life lessons, The purpose of our life isn’t very well explained in the traditional psychotherapeutic approaches.

So because it’s secular, but because it’s beyond scientific proof, it becomes cosmology or philosophy. Science hasn’t come there yet. But I would like to reflect that in terms of first, um, creating some foundation around how this could have been avoided and what happened. Now, now, in these teachings, the spiritual teachings, in the lore.

This is lore Kumkero and Tibetan Buddhist. They’re miles apart on each their own side of the globe, but they still have very similar understandings. So we are on a journey here, a journey of reincarnation, where we are [00:53:00] bringing the wounds of our ancestors. and the wounds of our past lives into each reincarnation.

At this point in time, the prophecy of this lineage and many other lineages say that we’re coming, even the Bible says it, that we are coming to the end of days. We are coming to a time where the soul has to meet all its karma in one lifetime. It has to go through all the life lessons in one lifetime. It is a story of enlightenment or embodiment or realization.

So, one thing is, there are a few details, one thing is that the amount of trauma that a soul, or karma, that a soul has to endure in one lifetime [00:54:00] represents the potential of that soul in this life. I see. That means that all these curses, all these traumas, the process of them from a karmic point of view is to heal from them, and when we heal from them they transform into our greatest gifts and powers.

It is depersonalized at that level. What that means is that mother and father are there. We are a descendent from that lineage, and we are a descendent from the generational trauma that that lineage has unconsciously brought upon the next generation. And we are the chosen one to be able to work through and handle it.

That becomes, in the spiritual, a level of the spiritual teaching that becomes the purpose of our life, to grow and work through this. So bringing it back to our conversation, [00:55:00] I hear that there is more in your life experience than there is experience with your father. And what I’m sidetracking here, apologize for that, what I’m sidetracking to establish is that all that you have experienced is not a coincidence.

In the cosmology this is a divine soul plan that you are working through and becoming conscious of. And just to finish, because I know you’re all suffering out there, there’s no 

Giancarlo: But this part, I think it’s more universal, this idea of, of the soul journey. So I would encourage you to stay in that. 

Louie: Yeah. So, so I know you’re all suffering out there, as I was saying, and I don’t mean to joke about that.

I’m just, what I’m trying to share is that because of evolution, because of our becoming, The whole humanity is being faced with all the unconscious material that we’re carrying individually and [00:56:00] collectively from the last thousands of years of trauma and suppression Like we have a huge bill to settle in terms of our emotional Memories in terms of our heritage and it’s all coming up and there is no way to escape it that there is the core Foundation of the upheaval we’re seeing but on the good side You There is cosmology and lore sharing that this is supposed to happen because of a spiritual evolution 

Giancarlo: Well, why now?

You say the current upheaval, okay 

Louie: Now that is a really good question right now. Okay, so We have a few sources to give us answer to that question. And what we will be looking at directly would be the prophecy of the Mayan calendar, the prophecy of the Hopi, the prophecies of the Kero or Incan shamanism, the Pachacuti, they call it now.

Giancarlo: And the Kala Yuga. And the Kala 

Louie: Yuga in the Indian system is another [00:57:00] path. I 

Giancarlo: know. And Western astrology with the age of Aquarius. 

Louie: Exactly. So All these are actually tied together. Of course. Now, if we go to the Mayan system, we are looking, based on their cosmology, we are looking at an evolution of a being, an evolution of consciousness that they track 16 billion years back.

We’re talking how, for 16 billion years ago, how the most basic forms of life worked together. over billions of years to create a process of evolution. Now, bear with me, I need to bring in some elements here. So, in this cosmology, evolution is based on four processes, very similar in the, in the Hindu teachings as well.

These four processes, they’re represented by the cardinal, [00:58:00] Corners, meaning the south, west, north, and east that I mentioned, which are the serpent, the jaguar, the hummingbird, and the eagle, they are multiple representations of what they mean. In this sense, these four corners represent the four natural forces of nature.

Gravity, Electromagnetism, weak and strong nuclear force. Now I know he’s thinking, what the hell is he talking about? Now let me explain. So in any kind of evolution, in any level of nature or the universe, gravity itself is going to bring in a form, a form that could be gas, that can be cells, that is a form of consciousness that wants to evolve.

From the south to the west, this form of gravity connects to electromagnetism. [00:59:00] Electromagnetism is energy, energy that moves in a container, in a form. By natural law, anything that is in a form, a planet, a solar system, a galaxy, a cell, a human being, a plant, a seed, is connected. Anything that is in a form and that is given electromagnetism will by law go to the north where growth and evolution happens.

So everything that is in a form, that is given energy, will by law grow and evolve. And when it grows and evolves to a certain level, it comes to the east where it transcends, where it levels up to become something else. Now the Mayan calendar shares this with us. on a 16 billion year perspective how the universe on the most simplest building forms have developed this consciousness through these stages of form, energy, growth, evolution, transcendence, and then starting over again and over again.

And we [01:00:00] right here, 2012, the end of that calendar, was the completion of a being, in their saying, being a human being that had evolved to the state, not only physical, not only neurological, but have come to the level of being able to establish a universal consciousness. So the universe manifesting itself.

I know this isn’t far out stuff. But why it’s relevant, why it’s even interesting, is that the mind calendar has a calendar system based on a lunar calendar. calendar system that is based also on the precession of the equinox. This is where the zodiac and the age of Aquarius comes in. It has a timed system that shares the process of our evolution.

Now there’s so much that we could have said about that, but I want to go right to the core of it. And I might skip some important steps, but pardon me since we’re a bit time sensitive. So [01:01:00] in the law of the Kali Yuga, In the lore of the Zodiac, in what we understand, we have just lived through 12, 500 years of patriarchal consciousness on the planet.

What does that mean? That means that around 12, 500 years ago, there was, there is a supposed, Graham Hancock talks about the younger, uh, uh, I think it’s called the Younger Dryer Age, this, this thousand years of, of, uh, Ice Age that we had. And there are speculations about a great trauma that happened to humanity at that time.

From that point, we become a patriarchal society. Everything becomes masculine dominance, and the masculine is, uh, the feminine is suppressed in all men and women, in all theology, in all our connection to nature, the feminine is suppressed. So we get agriculture, we get money, we get greed, we get war, we get this masculine [01:02:00] energy that needs to express itself through our society, creating everything that we’ve gone through today.

Now, to bring it back to your question, why now? So, based on the Mayan calendar and these prophecies of these other ages, right now, we’ve shifted, the templates of our sun and our earth has shifted, and we’re moving into the counterbalance of this patriarchal age, which is the matriarchal age. The feminine balance is appearing.

Based on the cosmology, this is a universal force. This is a part of evolution. It’s beyond any human force. We cannot stop it. And it’s been timed now through these calendar systems. And through that consciousness, through that energy that’s coming into our planet, all life is changing. And that is the question why now it is a time, it is proposed to be a timed point in our evolution.[01:03:00] 

to become whole. 

Giancarlo: To integrate this trauma we’ve been talking about. 

Louie: More than that. Yes, integrating the trauma is a, that, that is a superficial part of this. This is ultimately about becoming sovereign, authentic, true beings. This is about enlightenment. This is about finding out who we truly are at the core.

And, you know, when we talk about who we are at the core, we talk about. being authentic. So being authentic is being connected to our hara. It is being connected to our gut energy center or our gut instinct or our gut brain, whatever you want to call it based on what science. But that gut instinct, that gut feeling, that is the connection to the source.

That is the connection to what is happening between me and you right now. That is the connection to what is happening outside in the immediate environment. That is the ultimate connection to the whole [01:04:00] universe. That is our truth. And, and this evolution we call it enlightenment, but that it’s ultimately about bringing us back through the trauma, through all the unconscious material, and establishing us at our core, at our truth.

And I mentioned the Hara, but this is also regarding the heart center and the brain center. We are being asked to reconnect and align. and become whole with these three energy centers of these three intuitive brains that we have. 

Giancarlo: The brain, the heart and the gut. Exactly. Yeah. Wow. What a, what a session.

That’s okay. So what do we want to leave our listener? What would you like the takeaway to be for people that have been listening? 

Louie: Okay. So we just passed 11. 11 here on the, on the time, which is a great time to, to wrap it up. So [01:05:00] this is what I want to say. Our planet is now going through a very, very, very dark age on all levels.

The, the proposed extinction of our species in the end of this planet that have been fairly well prognosed in the last next 60 to 80 years, we are all in this together. There’s no doubt. And I’m proposing, I know in my heart and my gut and my brain that the only way we are going to get through this is if each and every individual takes full responsibility for their unconscious pain and commit and devote themselves to healing.

Giancarlo: Themselves first. 

Louie: Themselves first. This healing, where I’m at now, it has gone through my personal experience. And this happens simultaneously, my personal experience, then it starts going into the ancestral, the healing of my [01:06:00] forefathers, foremothers. And then once you get deep enough into that, it starts going into the collective trauma that is there, which is huge for our planet.

The suppression of the feminine, the racial discrimination, and all the trauma that is carried there by all the indigenous and all the non white bodies. Yes. Yes. Ultimately, and I would like to say this, and it’s not a popular idea, but ultimately, we are fighting against, or not fighting, we are healing a white supremacy elitism need for survival that is being protected at all costs.

So we’re looking at, we’re in a real journey, and I believe the next 30 to 50 years we can heal from this. But the message has to be clear, it starts with you. That’s not a judgment, it’s just a fact. Because we’re all in this together, and ultimately we’re all suffering from the same things. Does [01:07:00] that make sense?

Giancarlo: Yeah. So they say that, you know, if you, if the plane is in trouble and you want to help before giving the oxygen mark mask to your past to your, you know, neighbor, you need to put it on you first because otherwise you’re not gonna go very far. So, yeah, this is another interesting topic. Um, this idea of, you know, you can’t really affect positive change if you don’t, You know, if you’re, if you don’t start with yourself, if you don’t have the heart, the gut and the, um, and the brain align, if, if they’re disturbed by, by this,

you know, we call them, um, pain bodies or, or, or shadows or, um, or ghosts or psychological notes as, as we’ve discussed by https: otter. ai 

Louie: So, is it okay to, to, to cut, to, to, to wrap this up? We went a bit into the DeepMind technology. I would [01:08:00] love to bring it just back into the self inquiry so, so our listeners can have some tangible, clear pathway of where this goes.

And some structure for the future, yeah. Yeah. So, so basically, the truth that you’re seeking inside yourself, the authenticity that has been suppressed has been disassociated from the truth. Who you are and in most cases we do this through addiction. We do this through escape We do this to finding any kind of comfort that can soothe us and very often it leaves us disconnected to our body So we’re in our mind Some of you I know have already done a lot of work and connected to your body And what I just want to emphasize is that all of this work is through your body It is through becoming a human aware and sensitive in your body and trained and tempered to be able to notice tension, pulse, any physical [01:09:00] sensation, to be able to hold those so that you can go deeper from there into understanding the emotional Story and material, which always hides underneath.

And in that emotional baggage, there’s going to be memories, experiences, and the release of those emotions, which is the healing, the understanding. That is really the path. There are so many spiritualists that are seeking above to place codes on the land and do all this high dimensional work. But in my experience, most of us Most of you, you, you’re forgetting the core, which is in your body and all the spiritual enlightenment.

It happens through going through the fa fears, through the shadows, through the unconscious, not trying to escape from them going somewhere else. 

Giancarlo: Yeah, Gabo. Gabo always talk about this book. The body [01:10:00] keeps the score. 

Louie: That’s the one the cookie. 

Giancarlo: Yeah, we’ll put it. We’ll put it on the show. Note. Okay, guys, thank you for staying with us through this roller motion roller coaster for me.

And, um, as you might have realized, Louise, a very important voice off, um, modern psychotherapy, personal development. So we’re going to have another two session with him to finish. More in depth, the second principles. I’ll encourage you to also check his first episode and, um, see you soon. Peace.

Jingle: Coca zonada, it’s zonada and tea. Coca zonada, it’s [01:11:00] zonada 

and tea.