Dr Zhana Vrangalova PhD on the relationship preference spectrum - Excitement vs. Safety

Zhana Vrangalova, PhD, is a NYC-based sexuality and relationships scientist, writer, and consultant. For 15 years she has been helping sexually adventurous and nontraditional people.

She has created an online course, called Open Smarter, which takes a personality-based approach for those who are curious about opening up their relationships. It helps people who are on the more highly adventurous end of the spectrum live lives that are pleasurable, healthy, safe, and ethical.

Zhana discusses with Giancarlo how she thinks everything in human sexuality exists on a spectrum and some people are higher and some people are low, and many people are somewhere in between when it comes to pretty much anything.

Monogamy is the format where you get high relationship stability, safety, dependability, and predictability.

Then on the other hand is the need for adventure, excitement, novelty, and risk, mystery. However, monogamy is where you get the least amount of sexual and romantic freedom. This paradox is outlined by Esther Perel. 

Plus even though we ourselves might want to have multiple partners, we also feel a fair amount of discomfort, distress, insecurity, jealousy, threat, when our partner does the same. Which can lead to a bit of a problem…

Listen to the full episode for tips on opening up your relationship, safeguarding, pair-bonding, the evolution of the consensual non-monogamy movement, the challenges of polyamory vs. non-monogamy, ethical promiscuity plus much more.

There is also additional content available from Zhana who kindly participated in a Q and A after the release of the documentary Monogamish. Enjoy!